So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
we're making bets on your personal life
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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