Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
