You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
