I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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