I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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