hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
