Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
