Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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