STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
