you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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