Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
