Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
