That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
