ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Randomize
