Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
