I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
