Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
