The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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