Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
