That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
