If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
sex in a hospital.. check
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
