Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
