How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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