Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
