I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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