His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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