My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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