Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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