We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
