I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
