I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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