What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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