I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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