do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just invented taco cereal.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
my poor anus
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
