Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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