guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
