i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
