sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
