dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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