P.S. I can't hear my feet
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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