haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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