"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
