I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
