he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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