dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
