this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
