Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
