none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
