how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
