my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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